Life with intimacy and vulnerability is warm.
Life with guarded hearts and separation from love is cold.
& For me, working through my own painful barriers regarding how I love myself and others has helped me navigate murky waters.
When I think of how I got stuck in the turbulence of murky waters, it’s actually quite easy, but not so easy to admit. When in my feelings, if I don’t understand the cause of something, it is natural for me to question shit or pass judgement on its occurrence.
Knowing, I tend to place a lot of judgement on myself for feeling how I feel in conjunction to my growth. I grow guilty of how I feel, rather than giving permission, because for the sake of growth- I am still battling lower demons that I feel I should be past. & Let me tell you, should statements are the fastest way to kill progress.
Further, I tend to place judgement on others- for not understanding their process, for being upset and wanting them/things to be different, for being frustrated with their actions and how they find individual happiness. I completely lost sight of this main principle of life:
To allow people their process, and allow myself my own.
Part of releasing myself back into warm water, was being able to see my own toxicity. & I’ll be frank, if something does not follow suit with how I expected – I’ve had the habit of withdrawing my flow of love. Very conditional.
& With this, I wasn’t aware that it creates this illusion of separation. Even though I called myself cutting off my love towards someone or something, I failed to realize that I also cut it off from myself, which hurts me more.
Side note: being petty never works. Just continue to love with strong ass boundaries.
Understanding that people love not how you want them to, but how they are able to, has been transformative in itself.
We all have different love languages, how we love and what constitutes love based on our individual perceptions, but one thing I can say, across the board, is that love is forgiving, free of judgement, accepting, and unconditional.
The rest is bullshit.
& that’ll have you drowning.